Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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