Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
