Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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