Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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