She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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