Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize