I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So squirting runs in the family.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
