if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
