Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
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