One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
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