just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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