I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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