I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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