We're like a lot better than the average bears
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So apparently I’m into choking now
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