why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
im six kinds of drunk right now
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize