he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
