I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Randomize
