You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
