its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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