..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
