PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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