Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i out mim tonsoeep
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