the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
