yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
