You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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