Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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