was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
