he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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