I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
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he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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