Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
