I never want to see another naked old woman again.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
