....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
