a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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