Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
