so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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