I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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