I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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