It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize