Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
