bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.