If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
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pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
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Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again