can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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