Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.