I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
