i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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