Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Randomize
