Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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