he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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