winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
