Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
