I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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