Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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