There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
