It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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