One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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