but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
