All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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