think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
why do cheetos always look like penises
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
