That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
