And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
