so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
