Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize