Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize