I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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