Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Found the puke drawer
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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