I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
