i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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