DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
then he tried to convert me to islam
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My ass is underappreciated
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
