Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
